Day 47+ - Auckland: Back to reality... NURSERY RHYMES

My last blog was 10 days ago (ish) and quite frankly I’m sorry. I need to apolagise to Ross and Henry, Stuart, Chris, Adam, Kat, Tom, Matt, Dave, Soph, Laura, Mike, Tara, Taylor, Han, Kelly, Nic and Mum.

I shall attempt to make it up to you all... however, I guess this blog won’t be hilariously funny...

So landed in New Zealand after a HORRIFIC flight (see previous blog) and a lovely first night in Auckland it was nice to be back in reality, with family, and under an actual roof, and in a bed that I didn’t have to make up from the living room couches every time I wanted to go to bed. It was also a relief that Sara’s house isn’t on wheels, or had a steering wheel in the hall way, or a 12 volt mini fridge that you can’t get three pints of milk in.

I miss Matilda

So I didn’t waste any time and started applying for jobs... that sounds silly, but really, I was so bored of being a tourist and not doing anything productive, the idea of having purpose again was quite nice. I applied for pretty much any job that was being advertised. Part time, full time, casual, contract, retail, hospitality, office work etc etc etc. If it paid, I applied.

While I waited for a phone call from at least one of the jobs, I decided to fill my twitter feed up again. That sounds silly, but actually, everyone I follow was asleep in the day when I was awake... quite boring. So I followed about 100 people from Australia and New Zealand which was nice, but only about 80 of them followed back, which wasn’t so nice. Suppose I should just say more funny things... ANYWAY. I have no shame in telling you that I based my following on the exact same thing as I base my supermarket checkout decision on, the looks of the person... no shame. No shame at all.

Speaking of supermarkets, we went to one.

There are two stores here, Countdown, and another one that I don’t know the name of... Now if you remember my dilemma in Australia regards to my supermarket choice, well there is none of that here... the decision was made for me. Sara shops at Countdown (which is the same as Woolworths in Australia) and it’s fabulous. I like fresh food... and I like dairy. Mainly dairy though, and New Zealand has some of the best dairy produce in the world. The yoghurt here is incredible... I bought some lemon curd flavoured stuff and I about died. It was lovely. Their Cadbury’s is also quite amazing too.

Why do I always get back to food...

Alas...

Spending time with Lucas has also been a highlight (over and above the cute boy at the checkout). He’s eight and a half months old now and nearly starting to talk. He’s so cute. He’s got a lovely smile and such a cute giggle. OH and he sleeps through the night (mostly) so we’re cool there.

The day after I arrived we went to Sara’s best friend’s one year olds birthday party. It was funny... the kids didn’t really have clue as to what was going on, especially the one year old, but the adults seemed to be having more fun anyway. We played pass the parcel, which none of the kids grasped the concept of so it ended up being just a wrapping paper ripping game... what was the best bit was that it was so windy, a tree had come down over the power lines and the entire village had no electricity, but the parents sang as music for the game. It was the cringeiest thing ever. One of the mothers was a famous opera singer; although I’m not sure she actually had a very good voice.

We stayed for a few hours and chatted but then headed back into the city as Lucas was tired... that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

The weekend came and went without anything else really occurring. Went round to Alison’s (my second cousin) for breakfast which was fab. Met Connor (Alison’s son) and his girlfriend Caitlin too and their two dogs, a pug and a fox terrier. We had a full English (New Zealand sausages etc) and sat and drank proper coffee. Then we went down to the beach with the dogs and had a fab long walk from where Alison lives down to Brown’s Bay with a couple of her friends and their dogs. We went for coffee in a small cafe which had the most divine carrot cake I’ve ever tasted. The lifestyle in New Zealand is just lovely. At home I would never have walked the dogs and gone for coffee on the beach... maybe I’d have rushed to Tesco ten minutes before it closed for a jar of Nescafé or some hot chocolate, but never on a beach...

Now... I’d like to discuss nursery rhymes. I’ve began listening to them as it’s the only thing that keeps Lucas quiet while Sara is cooking dinner. I sense that there are awful undertones to some of them.

They’re mostly about teaching kids right from wrong but also about teaching them some history and also consequences. I’ll go through them one by one and you might be surprised about some of them (I’m not going to go through EVERY nursery rhyme ever, we could be here all year).

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the Kings horses, and all the Kings men, couldn’t put Humpty together again. So... get this. Humpty Dumpty is actually based on Richard III and the reference to him having a great fall is after the Battle of Bosworth in 1483 when was thrown from his horse, and later died. There are loads of lessons that are taught here. One is not to climb a high wall, because you will fall off and die. A bit extreme but still... the second is that even the King, the highest power in the land (i.e. a Doctor) won’t be able to stop you from dying. There is obviously the history stuff too, that men used to ride horses for the king, not drive around in the Challenger II (a tank).

Next. ‘The Itsy Bitsy Spider’ was originally published in 1962 about a spider that was trying to ‘climb up the water spout,’ but the rain kept coming and ‘washing the spider out.’ Then ‘out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.’ We all know it... but do you know the messages behind it. 1. Keep on trying, no matter what and eventually you will reach your goal. 2. The spider represents the oppressed black people who were being knocked back by the white people (the rain). 3. Later, people thought the water spout represented something you’d snort cocaine with and the spider was the “bad” stuff in the drugs you’d get rid of before snorting it. The rain represents the cocaine itself... Now which ever you choose to believe, it proves that there definitely never was a spider, and it never got washed down, and it certainly didn’t get washed away... Moving on

The last one... today. THREE BLIND MICE.

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

Yes. I have seen things much MUCH worse than three blind mice... notably watching a grown man take a shit at the side of the road... we were in horrendous traffic, stand still, on the motorway and hadn’t moved for three hours. He must have been desperate, but that’s neither here nor there.

ANYWAY... The origin of the words are based in English history. The 'farmer's wife' refers to the daughter of King Henry VIII, Queen Mary I. Mary was a staunch Catholic and her persecution of Protestants led to the nickname of 'Bloody Mary'. The reference to 'farmer's wife' in three blind mice refers to the massive estates which she, and her husband King Philip of Spain, possessed. The 'three blind mice' were three bishops, Ridley, Latimer and Cranmer, who were convicted of plotting against the Queen. She did not have them blinded like it says, but she had them burnt at the stake instead. No biggie!

Alas, singing them to Lucas just makes him laugh. He doesn’t see the meaning and poetic historical echoes behind them. His favourite is without a doubt the wheels on the bastard bus (without the bastard bit) go round and round... ALL DAY LONG.

So yeah... I’ve got loads to tell you about my job too, but I’ll save that for the next post.