Attention world. Today is the day I actually start
travelling. The past couple of days, I have tried (in vain) to get my body
clock on to Aussie time. It’s sort of worked, but I’m still waking up at about
3am every morning before falling back to sleep at 4am. I think it’s more to do
with the temperature than with the time though.
So, I got up early and packed up the camper ready for the
couple of hours of driving to my next campsite, at a place called Snapper point
in the Munmorah National Park. Instead of driving the direct highway to
campsite, I decided to take the coastal scenic road and stop along the way.
First stop was a little beach town called Copacabana. I shit you not. It’s
actually a real place. Google it... Copacabana, Australia (NSW). It was lovely,
but the road into the town was nearly vertical... getting back up it was nearly
as much fun.
By this point I had filled up my fuel and water tanks. This,
at the time seemed like a great idea, however, driving with an extra 235 litres
of liquid was a new experience. Dad never told me about this...
I had to go into first gear to get up the hill, and had a
huge queue of cars behind me. I was slightly pleased with myself for some
reason and bobbed along without a care in the world. Next stop on the road was
a little town called Terrigal. It is famous for it’s golden beach, which,
despite it being 11am, was already packed. There weren’t many big waves here,
but there were a few surfers out anyway. I stopped and had a cappuccino and a
blueberry muffin in a beach side cafe. Lovely.
North again to a town called “The Entrance” which is known
for it’s wild (however slithgly domesticated pelicans which live on the sand
dunes just off of shore. Every day at 3.30pm they are fed and I’m told they
attract quite a large crowd. Sadly, I didn’t have time to witness what I’m sure
would have been a magical event, but the town was nice anyway. I nipped into a
$2 shop and purchased some hooks and non slip matting for the camper (I have a
plan you see) and wondered along the promenade. The drive to the campsite from
here was pretty much one road. I left and got sidetracked by a sign to a
“lighthouse”. Now, I am fully aware of what a lighthouse looks like, but I’d
never seen an Australian one. I thought I’d give it a go, and after the 4km road
to get there (at a place called Norah Head) I arrived in the car park with five
other cars.
The lighthouse was closed to visitors but the views were
lovely. I’ve taken some pictures too. So, I went back to the camper and had a
quick look at the map. I hadn’t been there 3 minutes when a young blond
(gorgeous) guy pulled up in a car next to me and jumped out, ran over to
another car and tried the door.
Brilliant, I had found the crime hotspot of NSW. I sat and
watched this boy clamber around the entire car and then run back to his car and
proceed to get essentially naked. He, in vain, wrapped a towel around himself
to hide his modesty and ran back to the car, laying on his back and getting
right under the car. He got up and must have seen me looking and asked me if I
knew where he’d put the key, because, and I quote, “He’s got my wetty”. I
didn’t really know what to say, but said no, and got out and helped him look. I
eventually found the key in the exhaust. I wasn’t sure if what I’d just done
was legal, but the guy was gorgeous and seemed like he was in a rush. He
practically hugged me when I told him I’d found the key and proceeded to open
the boot and pulled out a wet suit.
A wetty. It all became clear.
I wondered back to the camper and he followed me back to his
car, where he into the wetty (such a funny word – say it out loud) locked his
car, put the key in his exhaust and grabbed his board off of the roof. He’d
probably not walked three steps when he turned around and said “Thanks by the
way mate, it’s just, the surfs up and I’m in a rush. If you hang around, I’ll
be back up with the lads in about 30 minutes and we’ll go for a drink to say
thanks”... he threw out his hand, I presumed for a hand shake (straight – gay
men don’t shake hands). His hands felt like velvet. I think I actually went
“ooo” when he touched me. I told him I’d wait as I didn’t have to be anywhere
(which was entirely true) and got my chair out and sat in the sun.
As he said, about half an hour later, he and his friends all
came back up off the beach, with wet hair and wetsuits around their waists. I
was in heaven. Mother, if you’re reading... skip the next paragraph...
seriously.
I’d like to tell you about these four people who’d just
presented themselves to me. My blond friend was by far the youngest at probably
17. He was followed by two slightly older, and a little better looking, boys
and then in turn was followed by an older guy, probably my age. All four of
them were blond, between 5” 8’ and 6” and simply beautiful. My friend came over
and introduced himself as Jake, and then introduced the others at Tom, Adam and
Crookey (which I presume was a nickname – no parent would be that mean). We sat
and I offered them some water (cold, from the fridge) and they told me all
about how the surfing was perfect today and how Jake would have missed it if it
wasn’t for my quick thinking (I actually just wanted to get a better view of
him in a towel – no, I have no shame. None at all). So we sat there for a bit,
when one of them went “yikes” and said he was already late for work. They all
jumped out of their wetsuits while I pretended not to be looking. None of them
were wearing underwear, and none of them seemed to be bothered about getting
naked in public in front of each other. These were my kind of boys. Now if you
think I was at any point being a perve, you’re wrong. I’m pretty sure Jake kept
looking to see if I was looking... Anyway... They all got dressed and said
thanks again and off they drove.
Mother, miss the next paragraph too.
I should point out at this point, that while in Australia, I
may be presented with situations where I could quite happily get my “fill” as
it were of Australians (pun not intended) I assure you I won’t be. I have my
boy, Henry, whom I love very much and I won’t be playing around or being a
“naughty boy” at all. I love henry.
So... I bid them goodbye and followed them along the road
back to the town where I turned off to the Munmorah National Park which was
actually closer than I thought. I got to the camp ground and had it literally
to myself. I parked up and sat in the sun and read a bit, then wrote this blog
and now, I being wondering about the beach, which I can see from the camp site.
After a little bit of research from my guide books, I find
that it is in fact an “unclad” beach. Brilliant. I have found a nudist beach in
the middle of nowhere. This should be exciting. I locked up and went off to the
beach, towel in hand genuinely to have a dip in the sea, which I promised
myself I would do once a day while I’m within 5km of it. So I got to the beach
and it was deserted. Just my luck.
Now, I have no shame telling you what happened next. While
on this nudist beach, alone, I decided that if I was ever going to sunbathe
nude, now would be the time. So... yes, you guessed it. Stark bullock naked,
rubbing suncream into my gentlemen’s region. Fantastic. I sat back and loved
it. Then who should appear but Jake and his three friends.
I am of course joking. Good things like that don’t happen to
bad people like me.
So alas, tonight is the first night without electricity or
wifi (first world problems) so you’ll be hearing from me in a few nights. Until
then!
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