Day 30 & 31 - Newcastle and Port Macquarie: Koalas and LIFEGUARDS

Day 30

Spent the day driving from the Hunter Valley, where I’d spent the last couple of nights, towards the city of Newcastle on the coast, before heading north to Port Macquerie.

The road coming out of the Hunter Valley is called the Golden Highway and I could see why. Corn and wheat stretched for as far as the eye could see and the road, though being single carriageway, was fast and not really busy with cars. Or did I speak too soon? I came up behind a car that had pulled over and had flashing lights on saying “large load ahead, slow down” so I did... Once we’d got onto a straight bit of road, I saw the quarry digger ahead of me. It was the width of two lanes, so big in fact that the cars coming the other way were being told to pull onto the verge by the police. I followed it for nearly 30km at a brisk 60kmph which I thought was quite good for a vehicle that had a pulling truck and a pushing truck. It finally pulled over to let us pass while the drivers had a rest (I presumed) and I got a bobble on towards my first stop of the day.

Newcastle is quite a large city that still bears the scars of the awful conditions that the Australian Miners endured during the coal and gold rushes. The city was founded in 1804 as a convict town for the rougher prisoners who needed to be put to work, usually manual labour, to keep their spirits down. While the city was based around mining, it is more famous for its steel works, opened in 1911, which closed only in 2000. Despite this, Newcastle is still the biggest coal port in Australia and around 86 million tonnes of coal are exported from here every year. It’s a fairly large city, but a bit of a usual normal bog standard town with nothing on. Every year in March, Surfest is held here. Surfest is the biggest surfing competition in the country and while the waves here don’t rival those further north, or further south, they are big enough to allow, for example, the first 360 ever to be done here. (I type this like I know what I’m talking about; I actually read it on a poster).

Newcastle also has the largest quays along the Central Coast and has been renovated with loads of shops and cafes along the harbour edge. Here, the Hunter River, which I stayed next to back up in the valley has changed from literally a trickle of water (I actually drove through it) to a huge tidal estuary where many whales have often ventured.

I spent about an hour or two wondering around, but then decided to get on with the 280km drive to Port Macquarie (I’d already drive 250km to Newcastle) and set off again on the Pacific Highway. It was quite a scenic drive, and me and the local lorry drivers have come to an understanding. I let them overtake me, and they don’t try and kill me. Lorrys, or trucks as they’re known here, don’t have a speed restriction like they do in the UK. They just hurtle along, usually faster than cars, until you move out of the way for them.

Anyway, I digress. Finally got into Port Macquarie at about 5pm and went straight to the camp ground. Got checked in by a lovely lady called Jill who’s son had just left to go to Bournemouth University. I assured her it was nowhere near where I was from, but then in Australian terms, I suppose it was just around the corner. I got my site and parked up. Thought I’d take a nice walk down to Woolworths as it was still quite warm. I got my backpack and on the way, got beeped at by a car full of teenager Australian boys. I wasn’t sure why they were beeping me, but the driver was only 17 as he had a Provisional sticker on the back (which all new drivers have to have) so the fact he was limited to 80kmph made me smile.

Decided I’d have steak and sweet potato fries for dinner with salad and tomato. It was fantastic. The Australians call sirloin powerhouse and I sat in the sun and ate it. I hear it’s raining in England isn’t it?

Day 31

Got up relatively early (9am) and drove about 3km out of the city to the Billabong Koala Zoo. It’s a zoo specialising in breeding koalas and it was lovely. It wasn’t big, but what they had there was so well maintained and pretty. There was a huge koala creation thingy in the car park so I had high hopes. I arrived at 10.20am and the lovely girl on reception (If I was straight, I would have) told me I should head straight to the koala shed as Blake, who she pointed to (he smiled and waved) was about to do the first talk of the day. I paid my $20 and got my kangaroo food (ground sweetcorn – I wasn’t convinced) and got my map.

Once I’d paid, Blake told me to follow him as he was going in the back way and I could sneak in and miss all the crowds out. Blake is my kind of guy. Any guy who likes going in the back way is. Sorry mother.

Blake took me right to the front and started his talk. I stood and listened to him tell us how the northern koala (the southern ones are bigger) are on of the most endangered species in Australia. They grow to about 50cm long and have five fingers and five toes on each hand, two of which are thumbs, and are opposable. Many people think that Koala translates as “doesn’t drink” but it actually means “bear with pouch”. They sleep for between 16 and 20 hours a day. Yes, I know... that even beats some of the people I know. My favourite fact about Koalas is that the males have two penis’ and the females have two vagina's. I know right. If you sort of give someone the v’s with your index and middle finger (go on, all do it) that what their penis looks like. It isn’t two penis’, it is one, split. The male ejaculates out of both of them at the same time, but the females vagina will only release an egg into on uterus at a time. Females can carry two baby koalas, known as a joey, at a time, one in each uterus, although this rarely happens. My second favourite fact is that they have a brain about the size of a walnut. It sits inside their skull, surrounded by fluid. It’s so small because, well, think about what you’d have to think about if you were asleep for 20 hours a day... eating, pooing, having sex... that’s about it really. They also survive exclusively on eucalyptus leaves which are pretty poisonous and not very nutritional. They often eat over three kilograms a day in leaves alone, and rarely drink.

Anyway, enough koala facts for now. I petted the old male called Stoney, and stood next to Blake and had my picture taken... Stoney looked away at the last second, bitch, said thank you to Blake, and headed to the Kangaroos. Now, as I had paid $1 for my cup of sweetcorn, I was going to make sure I got my $1’s worth of feeding. I arrived at the feeding bit and guess what, they’re all asleep. 140 wallabies and kangaroos all fast asleep. I was however one of the only people there, so I thought I’d try a little roo calling. I shook my cup and about three all came over at the same time.

I petted them for ages while they nibbled on my corn (not a euphemism) and then I asked a lovely lady to take a picture of me... she did, but I had to return the favour, by which time, all my new friends had had their fill and disappeared to sunbathe again. Never mind. I stroked a kangaroo. Might have been a wallaby, not entirely sure. I’ll ask next time I see one.

Drove back into the town and parked up on the beach. There was a van full of people getting out in the car park which had “Surfy’s Surf School” written on it. Original name I thought. I was going to wonder over and ask if I could join in, but when I realise the majority of the people learning were between 10 and 14, I decided against it. I’ll learn in Brisbane with Tara. Hopefully.

Sat on the beach and sunbathed for what seemed like about 5 hours, it was in fact only about 2, but the tan was coming along nicely. I got up, and as I did, saw a lifeguard run past me.

I’m sorry, I’ll rephrase that.

I got up, and as I did, saw THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LIFEGUARD I’D EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE run past me. He sprinted to the sea and grabbed his board then ran into the surf and paddled out to a guy who’d I’d not even noticed was throwing his arms around in the air. The lifeguard got to him and pulled him onto his board and then brought him back to the shore. To my horror, the guy shook the lifeguards hand and (he’d lost his board) ran to his car and grabbed another one, then went straight back out to sea. The lifeguard didn’t seem to bothered by this, and sat and dried off in the sun. I tried to take a picture, but he kept looking at me. Dammit. So, this guy just started surfing again, so I went over to the lifeguard and asked him if he was okay (the man in the sea, not him – I wasn’t hitting on him) and he said “yeah, these guys are crazy, once the surfs up, the surfs up. I’ll have to go out again soon”. We talked for a little while longer and eventually he said he had to go, and popped back onto his tower looking fione (no spelling mistake there).

Drove back to the campsite and sat and wrote this for you beautiful people. Aren’t you glad I didn’t blog yesterday!?

Until tomorrow, my beauties.