Day 47+ - Auckland: Back to reality... NURSERY RHYMES

My last blog was 10 days ago (ish) and quite frankly I’m sorry. I need to apolagise to Ross and Henry, Stuart, Chris, Adam, Kat, Tom, Matt, Dave, Soph, Laura, Mike, Tara, Taylor, Han, Kelly, Nic and Mum.

I shall attempt to make it up to you all... however, I guess this blog won’t be hilariously funny...

So landed in New Zealand after a HORRIFIC flight (see previous blog) and a lovely first night in Auckland it was nice to be back in reality, with family, and under an actual roof, and in a bed that I didn’t have to make up from the living room couches every time I wanted to go to bed. It was also a relief that Sara’s house isn’t on wheels, or had a steering wheel in the hall way, or a 12 volt mini fridge that you can’t get three pints of milk in.

I miss Matilda

So I didn’t waste any time and started applying for jobs... that sounds silly, but really, I was so bored of being a tourist and not doing anything productive, the idea of having purpose again was quite nice. I applied for pretty much any job that was being advertised. Part time, full time, casual, contract, retail, hospitality, office work etc etc etc. If it paid, I applied.

While I waited for a phone call from at least one of the jobs, I decided to fill my twitter feed up again. That sounds silly, but actually, everyone I follow was asleep in the day when I was awake... quite boring. So I followed about 100 people from Australia and New Zealand which was nice, but only about 80 of them followed back, which wasn’t so nice. Suppose I should just say more funny things... ANYWAY. I have no shame in telling you that I based my following on the exact same thing as I base my supermarket checkout decision on, the looks of the person... no shame. No shame at all.

Speaking of supermarkets, we went to one.

There are two stores here, Countdown, and another one that I don’t know the name of... Now if you remember my dilemma in Australia regards to my supermarket choice, well there is none of that here... the decision was made for me. Sara shops at Countdown (which is the same as Woolworths in Australia) and it’s fabulous. I like fresh food... and I like dairy. Mainly dairy though, and New Zealand has some of the best dairy produce in the world. The yoghurt here is incredible... I bought some lemon curd flavoured stuff and I about died. It was lovely. Their Cadbury’s is also quite amazing too.

Why do I always get back to food...

Alas...

Spending time with Lucas has also been a highlight (over and above the cute boy at the checkout). He’s eight and a half months old now and nearly starting to talk. He’s so cute. He’s got a lovely smile and such a cute giggle. OH and he sleeps through the night (mostly) so we’re cool there.

The day after I arrived we went to Sara’s best friend’s one year olds birthday party. It was funny... the kids didn’t really have clue as to what was going on, especially the one year old, but the adults seemed to be having more fun anyway. We played pass the parcel, which none of the kids grasped the concept of so it ended up being just a wrapping paper ripping game... what was the best bit was that it was so windy, a tree had come down over the power lines and the entire village had no electricity, but the parents sang as music for the game. It was the cringeiest thing ever. One of the mothers was a famous opera singer; although I’m not sure she actually had a very good voice.

We stayed for a few hours and chatted but then headed back into the city as Lucas was tired... that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

The weekend came and went without anything else really occurring. Went round to Alison’s (my second cousin) for breakfast which was fab. Met Connor (Alison’s son) and his girlfriend Caitlin too and their two dogs, a pug and a fox terrier. We had a full English (New Zealand sausages etc) and sat and drank proper coffee. Then we went down to the beach with the dogs and had a fab long walk from where Alison lives down to Brown’s Bay with a couple of her friends and their dogs. We went for coffee in a small cafe which had the most divine carrot cake I’ve ever tasted. The lifestyle in New Zealand is just lovely. At home I would never have walked the dogs and gone for coffee on the beach... maybe I’d have rushed to Tesco ten minutes before it closed for a jar of Nescafé or some hot chocolate, but never on a beach...

Now... I’d like to discuss nursery rhymes. I’ve began listening to them as it’s the only thing that keeps Lucas quiet while Sara is cooking dinner. I sense that there are awful undertones to some of them.

They’re mostly about teaching kids right from wrong but also about teaching them some history and also consequences. I’ll go through them one by one and you might be surprised about some of them (I’m not going to go through EVERY nursery rhyme ever, we could be here all year).

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the Kings horses, and all the Kings men, couldn’t put Humpty together again. So... get this. Humpty Dumpty is actually based on Richard III and the reference to him having a great fall is after the Battle of Bosworth in 1483 when was thrown from his horse, and later died. There are loads of lessons that are taught here. One is not to climb a high wall, because you will fall off and die. A bit extreme but still... the second is that even the King, the highest power in the land (i.e. a Doctor) won’t be able to stop you from dying. There is obviously the history stuff too, that men used to ride horses for the king, not drive around in the Challenger II (a tank).

Next. ‘The Itsy Bitsy Spider’ was originally published in 1962 about a spider that was trying to ‘climb up the water spout,’ but the rain kept coming and ‘washing the spider out.’ Then ‘out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.’ We all know it... but do you know the messages behind it. 1. Keep on trying, no matter what and eventually you will reach your goal. 2. The spider represents the oppressed black people who were being knocked back by the white people (the rain). 3. Later, people thought the water spout represented something you’d snort cocaine with and the spider was the “bad” stuff in the drugs you’d get rid of before snorting it. The rain represents the cocaine itself... Now which ever you choose to believe, it proves that there definitely never was a spider, and it never got washed down, and it certainly didn’t get washed away... Moving on

The last one... today. THREE BLIND MICE.

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

Yes. I have seen things much MUCH worse than three blind mice... notably watching a grown man take a shit at the side of the road... we were in horrendous traffic, stand still, on the motorway and hadn’t moved for three hours. He must have been desperate, but that’s neither here nor there.

ANYWAY... The origin of the words are based in English history. The 'farmer's wife' refers to the daughter of King Henry VIII, Queen Mary I. Mary was a staunch Catholic and her persecution of Protestants led to the nickname of 'Bloody Mary'. The reference to 'farmer's wife' in three blind mice refers to the massive estates which she, and her husband King Philip of Spain, possessed. The 'three blind mice' were three bishops, Ridley, Latimer and Cranmer, who were convicted of plotting against the Queen. She did not have them blinded like it says, but she had them burnt at the stake instead. No biggie!

Alas, singing them to Lucas just makes him laugh. He doesn’t see the meaning and poetic historical echoes behind them. His favourite is without a doubt the wheels on the bastard bus (without the bastard bit) go round and round... ALL DAY LONG.

So yeah... I’ve got loads to tell you about my job too, but I’ll save that for the next post.

Day 46 - Sydney to Auckland: Qantas? Shitas!

I got up at 2am. 2am... yes you read that right... 2am. Silly me for booking a 6am flight.

Fucking hell. Got up and grabbed a taxi, got to the airport and checked in. All very normal so far.

Then... take off... this announcement came over the cabin... “This is your captain speaking (etc) we’re expecting a little turbulence this morning...”

Oh brilliant.

Take off was shit. Ascent was shit. Turbulence lasted for all of the two hours. Nightmare. One of the worst flights I’ve ever taken. Even the cabin crew were shrieking. Finally landed in Auckland and the captain apologised to everyone as we got off. I gave him a proper ugly look and stalked quickly through immigration.

Walked through the arrivals gate and had to wait five minutes or so for Sara  and Lucas to arrive (because of the strong tail wind that caused the turbulence we got there 40 minutes early)

Now, the last time I saw Sara was at least two years ago and I’ve yet to meet Lucas who is now 8 months old. Needless to say we used to spend a lot of time together. Sara lived in London with her husband Scott who was my Mum’s cousin. Tragically, Scott passed away in 2008 after a very short illness.

Mum went out to New Zealand shortly after he passed away but I hadn’t seen Sara until 18 months ago when she visited us in England. She’s now happily settled with Chris, her partner and Lucas, their son. I was so looking forward to seeing Sara and Chris again!

Drove back to Sara’s house after an emosh hello and had a brief view of the city which looked beautiful. Sara and Chris’ house is lovely and properly Kiwi. Betty (my Mum’s auntie – my great auntie) and Alison (my Mum’s cousin – my second cousin) popped over and we had a lovely catch up... I say catch up, I saw Betty when I was about 14 and I’ve never met Alison. I won’t post too much about them because it was so fantastic and I couldn’t even begin to tell you everything we talked about, but I am so looking forward to getting to know them properly while I’m over here.

So, tomorrow the sightseeing begins early. Off to One Tree Hill.... YEAH I KNOW RIGHT!

Miss you all. Love you loads. x

Day 45 - Sydney: Climbing a bridge

What a fucking (sorry Mum) fantastic day. Literally, had such a good day.

Had a nice lie in and then went down to the Harbour again to a building called Bridge Climb for, yes you guessed it, a climb on the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I arrived early and eventually got suited up. You have to wear a grey jump suit so that the traffic below doesn’t get distracted with the people driving on the road below.

You go up in groups of no more than 12 and there are two different tours. The Express Climb which takes two hours and the Discovery which is nearly three and a half hours, the latter being the “better climb” according to the professional climbers. I was on the longer tour and set off with two Liverpudlian’s, a woman from Wales, one man from Frankfurt and three Americans. Our leader, Cass, was Sydney born and bred and was just wonderful.

So, started the climb... we had a harness around our waist and then had a head set on so we could hear Cass talk over the wind on top of the bridge. We attached ourselves to the rope leading along the walkway and headed off. The bridge is just fantastic seeing it so up close and being able to touch it. It has 6 million rivets in it and took 6 years to build.

Got to the top and the view was spectacular. You’re not allowed to take anything up with you other than your t-shirt and pants. Everything is attached to you so it can’t fall onto the road below. Cass pointed out Bondi and Manly beach and the city of Sydney. The bridge really is the only way to see the city. The Opera House actually looks so much different from 135 metres above sea level. If any of you ever go to Sydney, make sure you climb the bridge! It was wonderful.

Went back down the other side and got my pictures (which I’ll have to scan in soon) and jumped straight on the open top bus outside the bridge and did the three hour tour of Sydney and the Bondi area.

Many people know Bondi as just the beach, but actually it’s based around Bondi Junction which is a very large industrial area. There are huge shopping centres and boasts the second biggest train junction in New South Wales. It can be incredibly expensive to live here, due to not only the name, but also the proximity to the beach. Bondi beach itself is literally the most beautiful beach I’ve ever been on. The sand is blindingly bright and if you don’t have sunglasses, don’t bother going on it!

The beach is where beautiful Sydney people go to sunbathe and the people are all so gorgeously tanned and toned. The surf is always up and the guys sit and paddle while the girls sit and bronze. There is something called the Bondi glance which is simply where you look someone up and down over the top of your sunglasses. It’s actually quite funny to watch three girls do it at the same time  in unison as a fittie walks past.

So jumped back on the bus and headed back into the city to pack.

Follow on tomorrow’s blog children... x

Day 44 - Sydney: Singing and that

I slept in a lay by last night. First and last time ever. It was... loud. The lorries kept going past all night, and then it started raining at 6am. I literally couldn’t bare the noise any longer. I got up and drove the final 50km to the camper hire place. I had a chat with Matilda on the way and she agreed that even though we’d probably never see each other again, we did have some wonderful times and she will think about me every day, and I’ll look at her picture every day. Shirley, the bitch, kept interrupting, but once I’d told her that she was coming with me, she shut up.

Drove through Sydney to the camper hire place and gave away the food I had left to a pair of German guys who were just embarking on a trip. Exchanged the keys with the guy in the workshop and called a taxi.

The taxi rocked up probably 40 seconds later and the guy lowered the window and called my name. He winked at me, which was probably the clue right there not to get in the taxi, but I did anyway. He turned around and asked me where we were going. I jumped in the front and everything I said to him he kept saying “very good, yes, yes, very good” and drove off into the city. He actually was a lovely lovely guy.

His name was Ben and came from Burma to Australia in 1984. He had a really cute face and when he smiled his teeth (or lack of them) was hilarious. We had a lovely chat and he asked me which part of my family was from Asia.

Yeah, you didn’t read that wrong.

He thought I had Asian blood in me. I had it all to do not to laugh hysterically in his face. I eventually palmed him off with the fact that I had Spanish blood in me (which I have, about eight generations back) and he seemed happier. He told me where to go to see all the “pretty rich ladies” at a bar that he pointed out as we drove past and generally just pointed things out to me.

I was staying at the Metro Hotel on Pitt Street which is one of the four main roads that stretch North from the bridge and Opera House all the way south to the airport. He dropped me off and knocked $10 off the fare, gave me his card and said goodbye. It was midday and I was early for check in, but naturally, I flirted with the guy behind the desk and he gave me my key card.

Now the room...

It was massive. I booked it on Late Rooms and got a really good deal. There is a queen sized bed, and a separate sitting area. The bathroom is huge, with a walk in shower (it’s a wet room) and a Jacuzzi bath. Strangely there is also a hi-fi in the bathroom... not sure what that’s about. So the bed... omg... it’s so soft and big. And the towels... oh heaven. To think I’ve been living in a van for three weeks when this was sitting here... fabulous.

I unpacked and had a shower (and a poo, which I’d had to hold for coming on 48 hours) and walked out into the streets.

Now, I’ll try and explain what happened next.

As I walked down the steps, I put my iPod on shuffle. The selection was Whitney Houston – I wanna dance with somebody... the first ten seconds played while I walked and stood in the pavement. I looked up and around and decided to go right. As I took my first step, the music got going and I walked through the street strutting to Whitney. I felt like I was in a film.

Sydney is lovely. It’s very cosmopolitan. The only other city I’ve ever been in which feels the same is London, and everyone knows my love of London. The streets were alive with people. Not uncomfortably so, but it was lovely. I walked the half a mile or so and found myself walking under a railway bridge and then found myself looking out onto the Sydney Opera House.

I really didn’t know what I felt when I saw it. It’s so iconic and basically everyone in the first world has seen a picture of it. Up close, it doesn’t look anything like it does in the pictures.

Well, obviously, it is the same building, but up close it isn’t as white as it looks and while it’s huge, it’s slightly unstated and fits into the background and surrounding city rather than standing out. The bridge next to it is probably more impressive, I’m climbing it tomorrow as well!

So I thought I’d spoil myself and have a McDonald’s for dinner. Mainly because I was so utterly starving, but also because I could destroy a Big Mac.

So yeah, until tomorrow!

(Much better day today)

Also.... Big thumbs up to Adam and Chris. I’m so HAPPY! WOOHOO! 

Day 43 - Brisbane; (to Sydney)

Today. I got up at 6am and drove. For 11 hours. From Brisbane to Sydney.

Literally... so tired. Exhausted.

Day 42 - Brisbane: Boring

So today I sat outside Matilda in the sun and wrote 13 chapters of my book. It wasn’t very exciting. I’m not entirely sure this counts as a blog at all. Never mind.

Got some news for you all.

I'm flying to New Zealand on Thursday.

Bit of a shock decision but I'm not really loving Australia like I thought I would and I'm desperate to see some family in Auckland. I've not seen Sara for coming on for two years and I well and truly miss her. She's also had a little baby called Lucas who I can't wait to meet!

So yeah... going to stay in Sydney for a few days before Thursday. Might climb the big bridge... will see!

See you tomorrow boys and girls.

x

p.s. Mother don't worry. I'm okay, I'm fine. I'm just bored.

Day 41 - Brisbane: Walking (again)

Today I decided to get out and explore Brisbane on foot. I caught the 390 into the city and  took myself on a three hour walking tour of the cities sights.

First stop was the South Bank, which I’d only seen a small part of with Tara and Harriet. I walked down to the Maritime Museum which sits at the south end of South Bank (which is actually on the west of the river). There is a small museum and a dry dock which I walked around for half an hour or so. There is an old Navy Friggot (or however you spell it) there and its tug, which is now locked into its final resting place by a bridge. The goodwill bridge was built as a pedestrian only walkway across the river. It has really good views over the city and the breeze was very welcome

Over the bridge, I was back into Brisbane CBD and walked through the City Botanic Gardens. I nearly shit myself when a snake slithered past me, but the signs all said none of the species here dangerous. I wasn’t convinced and headed up towards the old Customs House before heading back into the city centre.

There was a huge long line of teenagers along the central road, the Queen Street Mall. I followed the queue to the front and found them waiting to go into a small clothes shop that had one sign saying “Buy one tee, get one free” in the window. I asked the guy on the door what was going on and he quite simply said “end of season sale mate” and ushered the next five girls through the door. From what I can work out, it was a shop similar to Jack Wills or Hollister. I walked past, annoyed that it was just a shop. I thought for a second that a boy band might have been giving away free snogs or something...

Spent the next three hours or so wondering around the city and then found my bus stop and headed back to Matilda... It was already dark and my bed was calling so while this isn’t the longest post on the blog, it isn’t the shortest. The next one will be.

Loves x